


Straight to My Head

by Miss_Murdered



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Awkward Romance, Light Angst, M/M, Relena's kid is cute and wise, confused!Heero, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 14:16:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17184560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Murdered/pseuds/Miss_Murdered
Summary: Heero's yearly Preventer evaluation is usually an annoying formality. But this year, it is much more complicated due to a certain Duo Maxwell...





	1. Straight to My Head

_I wanna be, wanna be where you are_

_Wanna feel, wanna feel twenty-one_

_Going straight to my head like you used to_

_Wouldn’t change anything that we’ve been through_

_S **traight to My Head – You Me at Six** _

* * *

 

Heero knew it was part of procedure. That it was part of his yearly review process. And he understood. He _really_ did get the logic. He just didn’t have to _like_ the whole idea.

Once a year, Heero Yuy had to have an impartial Preventer agent accompany him on a mission in order to evaluate his performance in the field. It irked Heero as the whole point of his role in Preventer was as a “special agent” meaning that he did not have to follow the normal rules or abide by the standard protocols. But Commander Une had been quite clear – she wanted Heero to have a yearly evaluation just as any other Preventer employee did. It did not matter that he was special, that he was different, she still required an evaluation of his work and to ascertain whether he was both physically and mentally capable as he had always been. He had always thought that Une had been forced into it, made to appease old elites who still feared that a former Gundam pilot may become a terrorist once again. Yet she never admitted and Heero never asked. He never cared enough to hack her email and get the truth. The truth wouldn’t help the situation, only make him feel depressed that forever he would be tarnished by a few wartime mistakes and be expected to turn into a crazed sociopath.

Heero waited in Une’s office, the lady herself “dealing with a situation” as her secretary explained and he had been instructed to take a seat in the office. He did so with a muffled “thanks” and took a seat in front of the large imposing wooden desk. He glanced around, noting the many pictures of MarieMaia and how she was a young woman and no longer the child he remembered. As he sat, he wondered what sort of agent he was going to be forced to babysit this time.

They had sent a variety over the years. From a therapist who required therapy, to the veteran who broke his foot, to the time Une herself came along. Heero felt he had seen it all. Yet maybe this year it would be tolerable. After all, the mission they were tagging along for was a relatively straight forward security and escort deal and Heero did not expect any complications.

Until he heard voices outside the office door – his acute sense of hearing picking up Une’s brisk tones and the warm baritone and laugh that was all too familiar…

The door opened. Une was there – every hair still in place and her uniform as immaculate as always despite whatever “situation” had occurred. Yet Heero merely glanced at Une as beside her was Duo Maxwell.

It was hard not to react – he always reacted to Duo no matter how hard he tried to not show it. Duo had always gone straight to his head, always felt like a punch to the gut, always been the one person in his life that was able to get through the barriers that had been created through a childhood becoming a perfect soldier. Duo was always the _one._ And he was far from impartial. There was too much history, too much sex and fights, too much walking away and coming back together. There were years. So much damn history – perfect and imperfect history.

“Hey,” Duo said, his voice soft and husky, “guess I’m your babysitter this year, ‘Ro.”

Heero felt the familiar tug in his stomach in response to Duo’s voice – to the way he said ‘Ro, the only person who he would allow to use such a pointless nickname. There was nothing that Heero could say to that – there was never much he could say to Duo. Duo had always been too good with words, with being social, with being the one who people liked and being too damn charming. Heero only grunted, feeling somewhat fifteen and confused by a boy with a braid and the most incredible smile.

“He’s not impartial,” Heero said finally, his words directed to Une and ignoring the close proximity of Duo who had plopped down on the chair beside him.

He glanced in Duo’s direction to see that Duo wasn’t offended by Heero’s attitude or his lack of proper hello. In fact, Heero often wondered if he could do anything that would make Duo hate him. He had done enough that any reasonable person would probably never speak to him again – he had tried to kill him, punched him in the gut and told him once that they meant nothing out of fear and self-loathing. He could hurt Duo but Duo could hurt him too – utterly destroy him with a look. It seemed Duo was amused, a small smile on his handsome face.

“He’s willing to go with you and fill in the appropriate paperwork,” Une answered, her voice stern as though she were talking to children.

“Yeah – I even promised to complete my expenses form properly,” Duo said wryly.

Une ignored Duo’s comment and removed her glasses, rubbing at her temples as though trying to soothe a headache. She suddenly did not look quite as immaculate and as intimidating as usual. “I just need you to co-operate, not blow anything up and complete the paperwork. I believe both of you can do that without killing one another?”

Heero nodded.

“Yeah… it’ll be fun. Getting the old band back together.”

“Perfect,” Une said, smoothly her hair and placing her glasses back on her face, “but if I hear anything about this apart from a form saying “passed”, I will not be happy.”

“I intend to behave myself, what about you, Heero?”

Heero rolled his eyes and got to his feet. “It will be fine, Commander Une. I promise.”

“Thank you,” she said, her eyes meeting Heero’s steadily, “you are both dismissed.”

They left the office, Une already dialling someone as they departed and as Heero closed the door behind them, he felt Duo’s hand on his shoulder, the warmth of his skin sending tingles through Heero’s body despite the material.

“So what’s the mission?”

“Escorting Relena’s daughter to the colonies.”

“Woop-dee-doo, babysitting, huh?”

Heero snorted. “Things have changed.”

“Yeah,” Duo said with a wistful smile, “but we don’t.”

“No, we don’t.”

It didn’t matter what had happened, what years had passed, he still only had ever belonged in one place and that was with Duo Maxwell.

His yearly evaluation had just become much more complicated.


	2. Count Two of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone reading along - I'm trying to finish this during my Christmas break from work.

The coffee shop was neutral ground and Heero appreciated the symbolic choice. When Duo had suggested coffee, Heero agreed as it was a public space and that meant it stopped him from pinning Duo against a wall and kissing him for all he was worth. Coffee was what friends did - coffee was not complicated. Coffee was safe. 

They ordered drinks - Duo something ridiculously huge and full of sugar and topped with cream while Heero opted for a somewhat simpler green tea. They picked a table next to the window, nearest to the door without discussing or acknowledging that fact. Heero smiled to himself, not letting Duo see his expression as he didn’t need to clue Duo into his feelings so easily. It was just easier for once that he didn't need to explain his paranoia and the precautions he still had in place everyday of his life - it was easy because Duo had them too - he just hid them better. He was more “social”, more “normal” but Heero knew how things could change and how Duo’s posture could change and how he would reach for a blade hidden somewhere on his body. He hid it from others but Heero knew. Heero would always know.

Opposite him, Duo was taking a big sip of his coffee, ending up with cream on his nose and chin.

“You have something,” Heero said, dryly, gesturing at Duo. 

Duo chuckled softly as he wiped his face with a  napkin. “Yeah, yeah, I know, Yuy. Yuk it up.”

Hero smirked and took a sip of his hot tea, glancing around the coffee shop to assess all the other customers and see if there were any potential threats in the vicinity. It was quiet - the only other customers a mother with a young boy sat opposite her and a pink puffball sat on her lap signifying another younger child. The boy was picking at a muffin, his fingers covered in chocolate as well as his face, and he looked up and met Heero's eyes. Heero smiled and waved in response, the boy giving a little wave back in his direction, crumbs dropping to the floor from his sticky fingers. Heero would always find it difficult to be around kids but it now wasn't as hard as it used to be. He’d dealt with them more, he supposed, but still they seemed too fragile, too different, too damn precious for his hands to touch... 

“You look good, ‘Ro,” Duo said, dragging Heero’s attention back to the current situation.

“You do, too,” he replied. 

Duo always looked good with his black skinny jeans, his faded t-shirts and the plaid shirts he always wore - his seemingly timeless style. Heero was sure that Duo didn't wear the same clothes every time they saw one another but they all retained that same vintage well worn quality. And even though Duo’s braid was shorter - cut to just past the shoulders, Duo still have those wisps of hair around his face that Heero pushed away with his fingers when they kissed. There were more lines on his face, darker bags under the eyes but Heero was sure that his face looked worn by time passing as well. After all, they weren’t fifteen anymore. 

“I guess you want an explanation,”  Duo said, his fingers tapping on the table in front of them.

“I'd assume you’d give me one.”

“Ha ha. I forget the fun I miss out on when I’m away - the world renowned Yuy sarcasm.” 

Heero only raised an eyebrow and drank some tea, amused by Duo’s mock indignation. 

“I'm here and doing your evaluation as I was asked to do a favour for the good old lady Une and I thought I’d stick around for a few days.”

“A favour?”

“Hmm-mm,” Duo said as he wiped cream and froth away from his face once again after taking another large gulp of coffee from the all together too large cup. “Mariemaia needed someone to bail her out of some trouble and apparently when the word “trouble” was mentioned the first thing Une thought of was yours truly.”

“Trouble?” Heero asked, puzzled at the choice of Duo. It wasn't that Duo wasn't competent - it was that Duo wasn't a Preventer anymore and they had hundreds of capable agents in the organisation.

“Yeah, the sort of trouble she wanted off the Preventer logs,” Duo said, wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis.

Heero’s expression remained blank - he wasn’t quite sure what Duo was implying but he didn't need to say anything as Duo would continue the story without him responding in any way.  

“Drugs. Party drugs and an L2 asshole. It seems I was the only one with the required expertise of L2 assholes.”

There was a slight tone of annoyance on Duo’s part but it was brief. Maybe he was sick of the assumption that he knew the seedy underworld of L2 as he had come from it. Heero wasn’t sure but Duo’s expression lightened once again as his blue eyes met Heero’s.

“But the plus side was a nice paycheck and then Une offered me some more fieldwork and since I’m here I thought, you know, might as well... I just didn’t know the fieldwork was  _ you. _ ”

Duo spoke casually as though he was merely talking about the weather but it spoke volumes to Heero. He was trying to be relaxed about his first Preventer mission in years but Heero knew he wasn’t as relaxed as he was trying to portray. Duo hadn’t liked working for Preventer - he hadn’t liked the office and the regulations and he had left once it had got too much for him. Heero continued to work for Preventer but he had done so on a freelance basis as a “special agent” so he could turn down any job that he did not like. When Duo had left Preventer, trying to find some other place to fit into this post-war world, Heero had been disappointed. But despite the ache in his gut that his absence caused, Heero knew it wasn't goodbye. It never was goodbye.

“So I said yes when Une asked if I minded being the lucky son of a bitch who has to evaluate your competence. She said you nearly killed someone once.”

Heero snorted. “He broke a bone in his foot. It was nothing.” 

Duo laughed, a genuine warm rich sound that made Heero smile in response. Duo was the only one who got Heero’s dry sense of humour and found him amusing. 

“You know other people don't heal like you do, don’t you?”

“I am aware.” 

“Good,” Duo said finishing the last of his bucket full of sweet coffee and leaning back in his seat with a grin. “I'm beat and Une has decided I'm required to do some test or something prior to my babysitting duty.”

“Where are you staying?” Heero asked, abruptly, cutting off whatever Duo was saying next, his tone more urgent than he intended. 

“Hotel, I guess. Probably that fancy ass one that cutie-Q likes.”

“You can stay with me,” Heero said, his voice low and barely audible as he looked at the bottom of his teacup. 

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Duo grinned. “You know, I could’ve charged the bill to Une. Could have ordered room service and everything. And porn.”

“Whips and chain stuff?” Heero asked, deadpan and straight faced. 

“Of course, all the kinkiest choices. Wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone, would I?”

Heero thought that Duo didn’t disappoint - only left a gaping hole when he wasn’t there. He looked out of the window briefly, noting the droplets on the glass from the rain that was about to start, and then turned to see that Duo was no longer opposite him. He was over by the counter, putting an additional tip in the jar and offering a smile and wave to the same kid that Heero had been waving at earlier. But that action was natural to Duo, easy and when he returned to their table he grabbed his leather jacket, putting it on with an elegant shrug. 

“Ready, ‘Ro?”

Nodding, Heero got to his feet, scanning the coffee shop one last time for any threat. Everything always seemed so much easier for Duo post-war. Nothing ever seemed quite as easy for Heero.


	3. The Place I Lay My Bones

It was too easy to fall back into bed with Duo. Easy to push him against the door of his apartment as soon as they walked in and kiss him like Heero meant it. Like Heero had wanted to since Duo had walked into Commander Une’s office.

Duo yielded immediately, letting Heero’s thigh between his legs and his tongue in his mouth, moaning as their bodies moulded together with familiarity, cocks hardening as their hips ground in sync. Heero’s hands were on Duo’s ass, keeping him close as he felt the soft denim underneath his fingertips and he could feel Duo’s hand tight in his hair - _almost_ painful but not quite.

Their tongues slid together with practiced ease and Duo tasted of cinnamon and coffee, smelt like he always did and Heero felt light-headed - like that time when Duo had convinced him that tequila was a good idea. It hadn’t been - it had induced nightmares and sickness and had given him the uncomfortable knowledge that Heero’s body was still completely and utterly fucked up by whatever the hell Dr J had done to him throughout his childhood.

His mind racing Heero had to back off then, had to step away, had to _breathe_.

“You can’t be impartial,” Heero said once there was space, once there was air between them and he could regain his brain cells.

“You can't be picky who evaluates you - people don't want the job, ‘Ro. You’ve got a reputation and a look that can kill people from ten paces away, remember?”

“It's not that,” Heero  said with a frustrated growl, his hands in fists at his sides.

Concern crossed Duo’s face then, replacing the smirk as he had realised it wasn't the time for a joke or sarcasm anymore. Duo understood. Duo always understood.

“‘Ro,” Duo said softly, walking towards him with his hand outstretched as though expecting Heero to pounce like a wild animal.

“They always wanted to prove that I wasn't fit for duty - that I was dangerous, that I didn't belong,” Heero said as he walked towards the kitchen to get a glass of ice-cold water to cleanse the taste of Duo’s coffee from his mouth as it was too sweet. His senses were overwhelmed with too many tastes and smells and sensations. Too many things he hadn’t felt for so long. Duo was a sensory overload to Heero who spent so much of his life measured and controlled. And alone.  

“You want me to prove that you’re unfit for duty?” Duo asked wryly, cocking his head to one side. “Geez, I thought Prev was your life, man.”

Heero frowned. “I don't know,” he said, frustration wrought in each syllable, “it shows I’m no longer a threat. No longer considered damaged.”

Dua snorted then, a smile on his face as he walked over to Heero with his usual confident swagger, no longer worried about Heero’s reactions.

“You're still damaged, ‘Ro,” he said reassuringly, “just maybe not the threat to world peace that they feared you were. Take it as a good thing - that it’s done. That we paid our dues. We can just, _live_ , now, you know?”

Heero realised how ridiculous he was, how completely and utterly stupid he was was being and how Duo was the only person he could articulate any of this to. He’d tried therapy, they made him have psych evals with Preventer but Heero was always so cautious, so afraid of saying something that raised the red flag that he remained impassive, quiet, mute.  

“I'm screwed up.”

“Yeah, but I'm kinda screwed up so we’re fine,” Duo said as he wrapped his arms around Heero’s waist.

It was comforting - the feel of Duo’s fingers resting at the small of Heero’s back and the warmth of his skin. Duo leant his head forward and rested his forehead against Heero’s, his breath ghosting across Heero’s lips as he spoke. “You're still a badass, ‘Ro. Still the guy that jumped out of a damn high rise building, who survived self destruction and gunshots and fuck knows what else. You're still -”

Heero cut him off then - he didn't want the trip down memory lane, bitter and sharp like glass on the tip of his tongue. Instead he kissed Duo with a fierceness that was unexpected, Duo stepping back as Heero pushed forward with his hips, Duo’s back meeting the counter behind him with a jolt.

Duo moaned as Heero pressed their groins together, as Heero nipped at his bottom lip and buried his fingers into the start of the braid at the back of Duo’s head, his fingers digging into the strands.

There was a perfect familiarity to it all, to pushing at Duo’s t-shirt to feel scarred skin under his fingertips, to sucking at the juncture of neck and worrying skin with teeth. Heero gasped when he felt practiced fingers at his belt, fingers that pulled down a zipper and slipped inside the gap in his uniform trousers to stroke at his cock.

“Is this part of my evaluation?” Heero murmured into Duo’s skin.

Duo laughed, the skin underneath Heero’s lips reverberating with the sound.

“Are you bribing me, Yuy? Plying me with sexual favours to pass?”

“It is working?”

“Let’s go to bed,” Duo said, his hand squeezing at Heero’s cock lightly making Heero moan softly, “I have to be thorough when I evaluate your performance, right?”

Heero would’ve groaned at Duo’s attempt at humour but when a hand was wrapped around his dick it was hard to articulate anything. Instead of words, Heero kissed the satisfied expression off Duo’s face and slid his hand over his denim clad ass, pulling him even closer. He wanted this forever - to be connected, close, skin on skin. He wanted to crawl into Duo's bones, to have their heart beats sync... he hated and loved how Duo had made his home in his head, his body, his heart. How he made it seem like he belonged there.   

It had been a while but Heero was confident of his _performance_ and he was sure that Duo would tick the satisfactory box on the Preventer forms. Especially when the sound of “fuck”, “yeahs” and “‘Ro’s” echoed around Heero’s stark bedroom, as the bed moved with their bodies, as their hands held tight and they came in a tangle of limbs and sweat slicked skin.

And as they lay, connected, sweat drying, Duo chuckled softly. “I guess you pass.”

Heero only response was to shake his head. There was nothing he could say to that.


	4. Where You Are, I Call Home

It had only been one night and Heero already felt like Duo had taken over his apartment - that he had changed it from it’s usual fortress of isolation to something noisier and brighter and no longer entirely _his_. When Heero woke up, Duo had managed to spread out his limbs so that Heero resided on only a small sliver of bed and Duo was snoring softly, the sound irritating rather than comforting. Heero got up, gathered his work out clothing and headed out for a run, all without waking Duo or disturbing him in any fashion.

When he returned, refreshed, head clearer - his apartment smelt of coffee, of bacon and of strongly scented shampoo and Duo was sat curled up on his couch, his laptop open on his knee, his ponytail of wet hair having left a puddle of water on the cushions underneath it.  

“Mornin’,” Duo said, barely looking up, “good run?”

Heero grunted in affirmation. It had felt good to run and he had always found solace in the practiced easy movements of his body and in the beat of his heart speeding up in his chest as he moved. He had thought that his run would ease the low level annoyance he had felt when he woke up this morning.  Yet despite the endorphins still running through his body from his exercise, Heero still felt irritated at the way that Duo seemed to ingratiate himself into a space without any consideration for Heero’s feeling.

Or maybe it wasn't that Duo was inconsiderate, it was just that Duo was normal and Heero clearly was not. That Duo didn’t have to analyse every little thing prior to making a decision and didn’t order things way in a very specific way. They were Heero traits and traits that probably made it difficult for anyone to tolerate him for any length of time. Sometimes Duo’s persistence with him should be admired. No one else stuck around like Duo did.

Duo placed his laptop on the coffee table and Heero decided not to be irritated by the stickers that covered it. It was Duo’s machine so that he could decorate it however he liked even if Heero’s laptop was devoid of such personal effects. He had no idea what any of the logos meant - he guessed band or movies that he had no knowledge of but to Duo they meant something. So many things meant _something_ to Duo - movies and songs and books. Heero wasn’t like that but sometimes he wished he was.

As Duo walked towards the kitchen, he stopped briefly to press a kiss to Heero’s lips, soft and fleeting, and it made Heero unconsciously touch them afterwards to feel the phantom trace of it.

“I’m gonna finish making breakfast while you shower, ‘kay?” Duo said.

It felt like an order, almost, so Heero followed Duo’s advice without any question.  It was only when he was stood in the shower, the warm water soothing the ache in muscles, that he realised he was already falling into some sort of faux domesticity with Duo and it didn’t feel… wrong. Not like it had in the past.  

After his shower, Heero dressed in his boxer briefs and a white tank top, leaving his Preventer uniform stretched out on the neatly made bed to put on after breakfast. Towel drying his hair, he walked back to the kitchen/dining area of his apartment, to see that his table was filled with a breakfast like he had not had in years.

As Heero approached, Duo was placing the last items down, the freshly made pancakes, hot and fluffy, and he smiled as he noted Heero’s arrival.

“Breakfast is served,” he said with an additional flourish of hands.

And breakfast was _served_ \- more than was possible for the two of them to eat. Eat of their plates had a large stack of pancakes in the middle but then there was a bowl full of fresh strawberries, a bottle of maple syrup, a tray full of crispy bacon and a can of some kind of imitation “cream” product that Heero was sure contained no actual trace of dairy in it.

“I can see that,” Heero said wryly, “you are aware there are only two of us here?”

Duo didn’t reply immediately to that as he took a seat with his back to the main door of Heero’s apartment. It was as though he knew that Heero sat with his gaze on the main entry and exit to his apartment while he ate and he didn’t want to intervene in Heero’s routines. Duo always instinctively knew Heero’s idiosyncrasies.  

“If I'm making breakfast I might as well go big or go home, you know?” Duo said finally as he added bacon to his plate and then lashing of syrup.  

Heero didn't know but he took his designated seat and tried not to make Duo aware that he did not know what “go big or go home” meant. It sounded like an old slang term or a Duo-ism - he didn’t really require a definition.

“When did you have time to do all this?”

Duo looked up then with a mouthful pancakes, a quizzical expression on his face as he managed to articulate the word “hmmm” mid bite.  

“You were fast asleep when I left,” Heero clarified.

“Yeah,” Duo said after swallowing his mouthful, “and you leaving woke me up and I had to go get my Prev uniform anyway so I thought I might as well make a nice pre-mission breakfast. I'm always concerned when I see the state of your kitchen, ‘Ro.  I know food is fuel but you take that idea far too literally, man.”

Heero picked up his fork, tasting the pancakes by themselves before he added anything else to his plate. They tasted good, Duo had always been a very good cook, so he added bacon, strawberries and a small amount of syrup to the top of them. It wasn't something Heero had eaten often, in fact, he'd only had it when Duo had made it for him.

“Good?” Duo asked, a slight look of concern on his face, apparently worried by Heero’s neutral expression.

“Good,” Heero replied, the slightest of smile on his face.

That slight smile made Duo beam, a natural smile that Heero felt lucky to see as so few saw Duo like he did - with his guard down. 

“I got the mission brief about why you are on the security detail,” Duo said after a few minutes of companionable silence eating.  “I can't believe there are people out there like that still. Well, I can. I just hoped that I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore.”

Heero nodded. Sometimes he wished he didn’t have to deal with them anymore. But then when it was people he cared for, Heero wanted to be there. Wanted to be on the front lines once again to protect and ensure that those that he called family were safe.

“Do you think the threats are real or just some crackpots?” Duo asked, his voice low and melancholy as he twirled a small piece of pancake in syrup.

It wasn’t the first threat against Emilia Peacecraft. And indeed, Relena herself was used to a daily deluge of threats due to her central position in the complicated world of Earth Sphere politics. But this time, it was deemed to have enough credibility to initiate a few extra precautions.

“I hope they’re not real. I hope it’s just Preventer being overly cautious.”

“Me too, ‘Ro. Me too.”


	5. Turbulence in the Distance

Heero had never been good around children. He supposed it was because he had never been a child himself. Or maybe it was the shadow of _her_ and that puppy in the background whenever he interacted with children.  Yet he did not have that problem with Emilia Peacecraft. But then Emilia Peacecraft was a completely different child to any other he'd ever met. She was very much Relena’s daughter - very serious for a five year old and already cleverer than most adults Heero had ever met. People would say that she was precocious but Heero concluded she was just curious and curiosity wasn’t a bad trait to have.

Emilia and her father was staying in an unassuming apartment in an pre-colonial building since the threat had first been received with a security detail 24/7 ensuring that they were protected. Heero was sure that Relena would’ve wanted to return back to Sanc as soon as the threat had been received and deemed dangerous enough to be taken seriously yet he also knew that Relena was once again trying to maintain uneasy peace and stop idiot politicians trying to incite needless violence. Emilia was safe with her father and there was no point Relena returning when so much was needed to be done on L1. That was why Heero was taking her now as Relena would be stuck in the colonies for some time and while her father was a more than capable parent, Emilia was already missing her mother.   

Frederick Blake wasn't a bad man and he wasn't a bad father.  He had just simply been the wrong man for Relena Peacecraft and he had been ill-prepared to live with two very headstrong women as despite Emilia’s diminutive size, she was most definitely a headstrong woman.

When they arrived at the apartment block, they were greeted by the usual security protocols and checks. Heero would have been disappointed if he had not been patted down but Duo was indignant and complained about the handsy guy touching his ass throughout. But that was Duo. He always had to find something to say.

After going through all the security checks they were finally able to enter the apartment and they saw Frederick straight away. Heero had never disliked Frederick -  he just seemed an old match for Relena with her politics and idealism compared to his business acumen and Playboy lifestyle. They had always seemed thoroughly unsuited and perhaps that's why the marriage has not lasted. Heero would never ask but he had seen enough gossip magazines in airport lounges to ascertain that this was the common theory - the “British Billionaire” and the “Poster Girl of Peace.”

“Heero,” Frederick said, approaching and offering a hand in welcome,  “apologies for the place. It's temporary until they catch these bastards.”

They shook hands, an awkward gesture on Heero’s part and he was glad when Frederick let go and turned his attention towards Duo.

“You remember Duo?” Heero said, as a way of an introduction, gesturing towards his temporary partner.  

Frederick shook his hand and Duo was smiling but Heero noted it was clearly a fake smile. Duo had never liked the old money elites that Frederick exemplified and Heero understood that. It was hard for Duo to be around such privilege, such wealth when he had come from the poorest of all colonies and he had always been uncomfortable around extravagant displays of wealth.  It was something that Quatre would always feel an inordinate amount of guilt about even though Duo never felt any resentment towards Quatre’s money - especially when he used so much of it for good causes and charity.

The last and only time that Duo and Frederick had met was the wedding of the century and Duo had ended up drinking too much, becoming morose and Heero had taken him back to his hotel room and put him to bed, watching over him in case he threw up and missing out on saying goodbye and congratulations to Relena like he had intended to.

“Yes I do,” said Frederick, “thank you for joining Heero on this little mission.  I imagine it's boring compared to the day job.”

Duo smiled widely. Too widely.  “It's nothing. It's fun to get the band back together.”

“Emilia’s ready.  She's just finishing some school work.  I'll go and check on her. Would you like anything to drink? Tea, coffee, water?”

Heero shook his head.

“No, thank you,” Duo said with a smile and Frederick left the room but not before levelling a lingering glance in Duo’s direction.

“He thinks I'm going to steal something,” Duo said once Frederick was out of ear shot.

“He doesn't,” Heero replied,  “he's just cautious at the moment. His daughter has been threatened.”

“Yeah, yeah - didn’t look at you the same way.”

Heero shrugged his shoulders. It was true that Frederick didn’t look at him in the same way but then Heero had been a presence in the Peacecraft household even in the early stages of Frederick’s relationship with Relena. Indeed, Frederick had always thought that the relationship between Heero and Relena was strange. He had even asked once, flatly, why they were not together, a drink in his hand at some public event that Heero was working alongside Relena’s regular security detail. Heero didn't respond, stunned, and Relena had diplomatically shushed Frederick with merely a wave and a look in his direction. Heero supposed Relena could have said he was gay but Heero had never really stood by such definitions and the relationship between them was love just not romantic love. It was hard to explain and Heero wondered if Relena had discussed it with Frederick privately as no comment was ever made again about it.

Before Duo could say anything else, Frederick returned with Emilia who was holding two things that she intended to travel with - a leather satchel and a teddy bear. The teddy bear that Heero had bought her when she was a baby.

“Are you sure there are no more toys you’d like to take?”

She shook her head  in answer to her father and waved in Heero’s direction, a small smile on her face. “Hello, Uncle Heero.”

Her tone was formal, serious and yet her expression was shy and unsure. Heero responded by walking forward and offering his hand as he would do to any other grown up. “Hello, Emi.”

The use of the nickname - the one her mother used, not her father - made her smile and instead of a handshake, she wrapped her arms around Heero’s waist awkwardly due to the contents of her arms. He would’ve got down to her level for a proper hug but she didn’t allow that opportunity so instead he patted at her head, moving aside stray strands of blonde hair.

“It’s been too long,” she said as she released Heero, stepping back and adjusting the skirt of her dress with the hand that held the teddy bear.

She sounded _exactly_ like Relena then - disapproving and he was sure it was phrase Relena herself had used on Heero. He could hear a small snort from where Duo stood as he too heard the familiarity in her tone and words.

“Do you remember Duo?” Heero asked and Duo stepped forward instinctively. “He’s working with me while we take you to the colonies and to your mother.”

“Hey,” Duo said and he knelt down, getting to her level, “I met you once but you were a _lot_ littler then... I’m a friend of your Uncle Heero’s. Is it okay that I join you on this little trip, too?”

“Are you a Preventer agent, too?”

Duo nodded. “Of course. They wouldn’t let me wear this awesome uniform if I wasn’t… So can we make a deal, I’ll join you and help make sure your Uncle Heero stays outta trouble, huh?”

He offered her his hand as Heero had done and Emilia glanced up at Heero as though seeking his reassurance - checking whether Duo was telling the truth. Heero gave a brief incline of head and a small smile in response.

“Trouble? Does Uncle Heero get into trouble?” she asked, turning her attention back to Duo.  

“I have a million stories about your Uncle Heero,” Duo said with a chuckle, “I can fill you in on the journey to L1.”

Reassured by a brief nod of head by Heero and with the promise of stories, Emilia took Duo’s hand and shook it.  

“You can join us,” she said, finally, her words careful and measured.

“Phew, I’m glad, I really didn’t want to miss out on such an important mission.”

Duo got back to his feet again, rubbing his hands on his uniform trousers, a sign of his awkwardness in the whole situation. It was a rare role reversal where Heero knew what to say and how to act and Duo was the one who was not sure how to present himself.

“I’ll check that Miss Campbell is ready,” Frederick said, departing briefly and returning with a young woman who was pulling along two suitcases.

They had been briefed that Emilia would travel with her tutor, her parents having decided to take her out of school at this time and Duo immediately went to her, grabbing the two suitcases and fussing at taking them out of the apartment, escorting Miss Campbell to the door with all the purpose of a knight upon a white horse. Chivalry wasn’t dead, apparently.

Meanwhile, Emilia was saying goodbye to her father and Heero didn’t dare watch too carefully. He was aware he should probably dislike Frederick due to his loyalty towards Relena but the man was not evil - just selfish and ill-prepared for the sort of life Relena led. He had perhaps expected her to give up politics but Relena could not - never could. And Heero admired that and always would.

“Be good for Miss Campbell and Uncle Heero and Duo. Do everything they tell you - if they say you have to something, you do it straight away, Emilia, promise me?”

“I promise, daddy.”

Heero felt a pang of something deep in his gut as they hugged, as Frederick held her close and stroked at her hair, and maybe worried that this was the last time he would see his daughter. Heero wondered if Frederick and Relena had fought - whether he had thought it best for Emilia to stay with him on earth, safe, but Relena would argue the point that Emilia was safe no-where if _someone_ really wanted her dead and there was no safer way of delivery her to the colonies than with Heero Yuy.

It did not matter - the decision had been made and Heero would ensure she was safe with every fibre of his being. The hug ended and Heero met Frederick’s eyes - glassy with unshed tears.

“Look after her.”

“I will,” Heero said and he almost started as he felt a little hand wrap around his own tight. He looked down to see Emilia, tears on her cheek, and he squeezed her hand gently. “Let’s go.”


	6. Tap the Brakes

The drive was uneventful, in convoy, and they arrived at the disused Preventer airstrip which was now being used as a makeshift spaceport. The private space shuttle gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight and Duo whistled as they drove up to it. 

Heero stopped the car and waited until the “all clear” came over the radio before he got out, Duo following his lead, their weapons close at hand. The Preventer team who had prepared the shuttle approached and handed over a tablet with the details of the checks they had completed to Heero. He glanced through them, then scanned around the abandoned old airstrip and then towards Duo who was stood alert, awaiting orders. 

There was no danger. Nothing visible. But Heero still felt on edge - that prickling sensation on the back of his neck that made his hairs stand up on end. There was an element that he just had to trust that these fellow agents were legitimate, that Une used only her best and brightest to protect Emilia but still Heero knew what desperate men could do. And desperate men could sabotage a shuttle or could maintain an act until the very moment Emilia was out in the open. Yet Heero had no choice. 

He finished checking the tablet and then accompanied one of the Preventer mechanics onto the shuttle so that he could see the layout all the while leaving Emilia in the car with Duo outside, gun in hand now, the same anxiety showing in his posture. 

Heero knew why they both struggled with trusting anyone within Preventer. During the war they had only had each other and a small circle of allies. Preventer was different - bureaucratic, full of ex-OZ and Alliance people, and it made it hard for Heero to feel at ease even when he was very aware that all these agents would be heavily vetted. Une wouldn’t put Relena’s daughter in any danger - Heero knew that logically yet still he felt that unease that would not cease until Relena was safely with her mother within the Peacecraft security detail. 

After a scan of the layout and a quick trip to the cockpit, Heero returned to the tarmac and simply nodded to Duo who opened the car door and offered a hand to Emilia. 

“Time to fly, sweetheart.”

Emilia had heeded her father’s words about listening to Heero and Duo as she had been told to keep close to them and she did so as they made the short walk to the shuttle. Once onboard Emilia picked her seat and placed her teddy bear on the seat next to her, putting a seatbelt on it for safety. Heero stayed onboard as Duo went to retrieve suitcases and Miss Campbell and he leaned against the seat opposite her as she wriggled in her chair, her dress gathering underneath her and Emilia smoothing it out. She struggled with her own belt and Heero leaned over. 

“May I?”

“Of course, Uncle Heero.” 

He helped her, the task feeling oddly parental to Heero and when he straightened back up he saw her fuss with the bear once again. “Sit up, Mr. H,” she said, telling the bear off in a tone that again sounded all to familiar. 

“Mr. H?” Heero asked, a slight smile across his face. 

“I wanted it to name it after you but I couldn’t say it right when I was younger,” Emilia explained, a slight blush to her cheeks, “so mummy suggested Mr. H.”

“Good choice,” Duo said then, leaning against the door to the shuttle, Miss Campbell having made her way on board and taking a seat across from Emilia. 

Emilia smiled at Duo. It seemed she had already warmed to him but that didn’t surprise Heero. He was a natural and a child at heart. Of course, Emilia was going to like him. 

Duo put a hand on Heero’s shoulder. “They’re all ready, better get going, ‘Ro.”

“We’ll be in the cockpit,” Heero instructed,  “keep your seat belts buckled until we get out of Earth’s atmosphere.”

“I know,” Emilia said with a roll of eyes.

With that, Heero and Duo made their way to the cockpit, the stairs to the shuttle already detached and door locked. Everything was being done quickly and they had a short window for take-off to make sure their flight would be ignored among the regular commercial shuttle flights taking place. 

They stepped into the cockpit and Duo moved towards the co-pilot's chair. Heero grabbed for Duo’s arm, maybe a little tightly and Duo started, unsure. 

“You pilot.”

The only words that came out of Duo’s mouth was a sound that appeared to be a “huh” but it was inarticulate and vague. 

“You always were the better pilot,” Heero said as he saw the way Duo’s mouth was a little ajar in confusion. 

“I haven’t flown in years,” Duo admitted.

“You don’t forget. It’s in your blood and I’m your co-pilot.”

Heero could see the thoughts flickering around in Duo’s skull. It wasn’t that Heero was trying to make some romantic gesture - unconventional as it was. It was a simple fact that Duo had been a better pilot - he had trusted him implicitly during the MarieMaia incident as his instincts were sharp and his skills simply exceeded his. It was as though Duo was more than just someone who piloted - it was a part of him and Duo had had a weird empathetic relationship with his Gundam that differed from Heero’s own. His Gundam had been a machine of war. Deathscythe had had soul, at least according to Duo. 

Duo pressed a brief kiss to Heero’s lips - a thank you maybe, as weird as the reaction was, and when Duo got in the pilot's chair, adjusting it and flicking switches, he had a big smile on his face. 

“Knew there was a reason I loved you,” he said, his tone flippant but as soon as the words had left his mouth, there was awareness of the implication of the word “love” that suddenly made the cockpit seem smaller than it already was. 

They’d never said “love” - not directly, not to each other and the first time it had been mentioned, it had been a sarcastic comment and Duo for a change had gone a shade of red that reflected his embarrassment. 

“Um.. ‘Ro.”

“You have clearance, Shuttle 99012.”

“Not the time,” Heero said as he took the co-pilot's chair. 

It was not the time, thankfully, and the distraction of the mission was needed. They completed the pre-flight checks and they were soon blasting off out of the earth’s atmosphere, Duo’s brow knitted in concentration despite the fact his fingers knew what to do, his natural ability as a pilot admirable and Heero did everything Duo instructed without comment, the awkwardness between them dampened down when there was an important task at hand.

However, once they were on course and auto-pilot was engaged a heavy feeling permeated the cockpit and Duo was not helping matter. Instead of making light of what he’d said, he focused on the buttons he didn’t need to on the panel and the coordinates that were already set. Duo was the one who changed the mood with a little comment, a curve of his lips and a chuckle - and right now he was not doing that and Heero wasn’t sure how to make things lighter - how to stop the sharp feeling in his chest. 

Instead of remaining in the awkward atmosphere, Heero got up and mumbled out that he was going to check on Emilia - hiding behind a child so he did not have to have a conversation with Duo that they clearly needed to have 

Though despite the fact he was using Emilia as a distraction, it soon became apparent that he had needed to check on her. As when he left cockpit, the gentle swish of the door closing behind him, Heero saw that Miss Campbell head was lolling and her mouth was agape. He reached for his weapon, his instincts alert until Miss Campbell snored loudly, the noise almost waking her up due to the force of it. 

Emilia giggled in response to the snore and Heero stopped the motion towards his gun. He was glad he had only reached for his weapon and it was not poised in his hand - he didn’t want to show Emilia that side of himself. 

Of course, Emilia had been around security protocols and weapons her entire existence which was ironic considering Relena’s Pacifist politics. The politics that made her and her daughter her target. But despite the fact that Emilia had always been around guns, Heero didn’t want her to see him with a weapon - for her to see his twitchy finger and his paranoia. 

“She doesn’t like space travel,” Emilia explained, “she took some sleeping pills before we took off.”

Heero’s brows knotted in concern and he approached Miss Campbell to check she was okay - the answer was a loud snort and Heero backed off and took the seat opposite Emilia.

“Would you like me to sit with you for awhile?” Heero asked.

He wasn’t quite sure what to do - whether to join her or not. Duo didn’t need a co-pilot and Heero was not keen on the idea of Emilia being alone with Miss Campbell being asleep. He would report to Relena that he didn’t think the choice of tutor was the best when she had ignored her charge as soon as the flight had took off. 

“Yes,” Emilia said and she reached for her satchel, bringing out a small notebook and a purple pen where she pretended to write some notes as if she were an interviewer. She peeked over at Heero after a few minutes. “Are you and Duo married?”

Heero didn’t know what to say to Emilia. He blinked and tried to figure out how to respond and why it had ever occurred for a five year old to ask such a question. Emilia didn’t take offense at his silence, instead, she turned a page and went back to her notebook.

“Mummy says you and Duo are like an old married couple.”

Relena. Of course. It had to have come from her. He didn’t understand how they could be a like “an old married couple” as Heero didn’t really  _ know  _ any old married couples to compare. 

“No,” Heero said, finally, “we’re not.”

Emilia nodded and ripped out a page in his notebook handing it over to Heero. It showed a picture of what he assumed was him - though he had an excessively large head and no arms and what he assumed must’ve been Duo as he had a line coming from his head that must’ve been his hair. His head was large and he too had no arms. Heero was not going to be an art critic to Emilia and let her know that he required arms - he just smiled. 

“I think you should get married. I’d like a pretty dress.”

Heero only folded the picture carefully, putting it in the inner pocket of his Preventer jacket as Emilia started drawing something else. He had no idea what else to say to her but she didn’t seem to care as they sat in companionable silence together as Heero tried to consider what Relena had meant about them being an like “old married couple” as the Earth slipped away. 


	7. Battleground for the Truth

Completing a successful mission usually created a sense of satisfaction for Heero. Yet as well as satisfaction there was usually a sense of existential dread as there was usually some form of casualty - some damage he had caused, some lives he had changed and ripped apart. Yet while this mission was a success without any of the usual death and destruction, Heero still didn’t feel a sense of peace as he thought he might.

The eighteen hour flight to the L1 cluster had been uneventful but there had been a pervading air of awkwardness that was not addressed. Heero mainly spent his time with Emilia, only checking on Duo intermittently until they were in range of the colonies and a co-pilot was required.

Duo had been overly chatty then - asking how Emilia was and complaining loudly about the irresponsible tutor downing sleeping pills rather than looking after the kid as she was paid to do. He pretended that he’d never said _that_ \- that he’d never said that he loved Heero.

It made things easier, that they did not address it but Heero was conscious that the mission was ending and that in turn would mean that Duo’s evaluation was ending. And once the evaluation was over it would all end - this brief few days together would just be another time they fell together and parted, whispers of kisses left on Heero’s lips.

The mission didn’t end when they met with Peacecraft security, even when Heero saw the familiar face of her chief security officer, Noin. She wouldn’t have it any other way, they followed protocol, Heero and Duo travelling with Emilia and a groggy Miss Campbell, with Noin in Relena’s car as some kind of decoy.

There was no need for such precautions - indeed, the drive was so uneventful that Heero had to blink a few times as he drove the blacked out Preventer vehicle - he almost drifted off. He berated himself - he truly was weak and ineffectual, the most danger caused to Emilia during the whole mission had been an overly-tired Heero.

It wasn’t until the arrived at the hotel and took Emilia through the delivery entrance to a private elevator to Relena’s suite that Heero started to relax. Noin was chatting to Emilia, catching up with her and Duo was leaning against the metal of the elevator, a smile on his face and his posture relaxed.

It had been a very different mission to any that they had been on together before. There was no torn clothing, no blood, no haunted expression in their eyes and no need to tear each other’s clothes off at the first opportunity to feel _something._ And it meant that Heero wasn’t sure what happened once they had deposited Emilia with her mother - whether Duo just filled in that form and returned it to Une. Then Heero would return to more conventional missions - the Preventer hierarchy satisfied he would not turn into a mass murderer for another year.

He sighed softly and Duo looked up then, met his eye and cocked his head as though asking without words Heero’s worry. Heero shrugged in response. They couldn’t talk - not now and plus what were they going to talk about? About where Duo was going next? About Heero’s next Preventer mission? Heero didn’t want to talk about that.

The elevator opened into a private suite with a temporary metal detector installed inside. Heero stalled with his weapon yet Emilia didn’t need to stop for the security protocol - she only dropped her satchel and teddy to the floor and ran through the detector towards her mother, the happy shout of “mummy” echoing. Heero placed the satchel and Mr. H for the Peacecraft security team to check along with his own weapon, badge and belt, going through it without a blip and approaching where Relena was holding her daughter tightly to her, her face buried in her Emilia’s neck.

It was an image that felt intimate to Heero - to a man who had never been a son or a child. He felt a hand on his shoulder then, Duo next to him, that soft smile on his face.

“Mission complete, huh?”

“100% successful.”

Relena looked up then, getting to her feet and smoothing out her dress in the same manner that Emilia had done earlier. Her eyes were watery and she swiped the sleeve of her baby blue blouse across them before she stepped towards Heero, wrapping him in a warm hug. Usually Relena didn’t hug Heero knowing he found such physical contact difficult but Heero relaxed into her embrace, awkwardly putting an arm around her and patting the small of her back.

“Thank you, Heero. I really can’t thank you enough.”

She finished her hug, the smell of her floral perfume leaving a trace of her on Heero’s clothes and skin.

“And you, Duo,” she said, hugging him in the same manner though Duo didn’t stiffen in her embrace, he hugged back and pressed a brief kiss against her cheek as she stepped back. “I didn’t know you were the other agent Lady Une mentioned.”

“Yeah, neither did I. Apparently someone needed to do Heero’s Preventer yearly eval and it seemed like I was only person foolish enough to agree.”

“I hope he’s passed?” Relena asked.

“With flying colours,” Duo said with a slight smirk and Heero guessed he was thinking of the night in Heero’s bed that seemed like it had happened a lifetime ago.

It was unsubtle and Heero felt a slight blush on his cheeks which thankfully was not dwelt on as there was a rush of Emilia being shown her bedroom in the suite and the new outfits and toys her mother had purchased her. Heero felt like they were no longer needed, that life was returning to normal for the Peacecraft family and that they could leave but then Relena approached him.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

Heero couldn’t say no and he was ushered to the balcony, Relena sliding the door behind them softly so it was mostly closed. Heero wanted to say that she shouldn’t be outside - that it was foolish to be out in the open but then he was sure she was sick of such advice. Plus if a sniper took a shot, Heero would jump in front of it - her life was worth far more than his.

“You were the only one I could trust,” she said softly, taking a seat at the patio table, “I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

He didn’t take a seat, instead stood with his body against the railing, blocking, protecting her as he always would. The colony air felt stale and stifling as Heero stood and he already missed earth and the breeze and the cold and the realness of it.

“She didn’t. You need a new tutor - Miss Campbell took double the dosage of sleeping pills and slept the entire journey. I sat with Emilia.”

Relena’s expression changed to annoyance then. “She was Frederick’s choice. Someone his family knew. I’ll sort it out. Thank you - I bet she wasn’t the easiest company. She asks too many questions.”

Heero felt unconsciously then to the folded piece of paper in the inner jacket pocket and he looked up to the “sky” above, a slight burst of air ruffling at his bangs. “She asked if Duo and I were married. That you said we acted like an old married couple.”

Her eyes widened for a moment before she laughed softly. “She did? She remembers everything… takes everything far _too_ seriously. I just meant… you always act so naturally around one another. You’re in sync. You mirror one another. It’s something I envy - I’ve never had that.”

“Not now.”

“Did something happen? Other than the night of passion I assume Duo was alluding to?”

Heero almost choked at Relena’s forthrightness - yet it was not surprising she had been fully aware of whatever Duo was implying. He was too obvious and she too perceptive. He didn’t meet her eyes, only looked now down to the streets below and the slow moving traffic.

“He said he loved me.”

“And you love him - I don’t see a problem.” Heero turned then, was formulating a response but Relena got to her feet and stood next to him, putting a hand gently on his as he held tightly to the railing. “You’ve been in love with him in some capacity since he shot you. I don’t care if you tell me otherwise - there is some part of you that has been connected to Duo since that day as you’ve been connected to me.”

“He leaves.”

“Then make him stay! Then tell him you love him!” she said, her voice almost a shout. “Heero Yuy when will you learn? You can’t just grunt and stare your way through life. People need to _know._ Duo needs to know. And you two have been dancing around this for over a decade. Why can’t you just decide to be happy? You don’t have to fight anymore… this isn’t a battle for old soldiers.”

“You still fight.”

“Because this is _my_ fight. My arena. Me trying to stop egotistical idiots from destroying our peace.”

She pushed herself off the railing then, the warmth of her hand leaving Heero’s and she slid the door open to the suite. Heero stood for a moment, watching her go and then he heard her shout in mock annoyance. Heero followed then to see that Emilia was upside down, giggling loudly and Duo was trying to look as innocent as possible as he put her down the correct way up as carefully as he could.

“Maybe it’s time for Emilia to relax,” Relena said, her voice stern but a hint of amusement in her tone.

“I’ll get him out of your hair.”

“Thank you, Heero,” she said softly, “thank you for everything.”

And as they prepared to leave, final hugs given, Heero knew that this mission had been an 100% success and one that he could walk away with no guilt. But while there was no guilt - Heero was left with Relena’s words in his head and with the knowledge he needed to talk to Duo.


	8. Wanna Be Where You Are

Relena had paid for a room. In fact, she paid for two rooms if required but they declined that opting to stay in the same suite on the same floor as the Peacecraft entourage. It wasn’t as elaborate as Relena’s and Emilia’s room but the size was substantial enough that they had a seperate bedroom and seating area. 

Heero had spent a lot of time in hotel rooms during his travels with Odin and in spells during the war, but it was only in adulthood had he got used to ones that did not have damp stains on the ceiling and cockroaches hiding in the bathtubs. 

Their duffle bags had been waiting for them in the room and Duo had grabbed his straight away, claiming “dibs” on the shower as Heero opened his cautiously, annoyed by the fact that the contents of his bag had clearly been thoroughly searched and there was no longer any order to it. Of course, he understood that their belongings had been searched as they had been travelling in the same car and shuttle as Emilia but Heero still felt annoyed as he grabbed his laptop from it’s sleeve. 

He completed a simple report and sent it to Une before taking a shower himself as soon as Duo had finished. There was opportunity to talk yet Heero delayed it - maybe to avoid it all together even as Relena’s words lodged themselves in his skull. He had not been in love with Duo since he shot him, he was sure of that.

At first Duo had been an annoyance, more than that, he had got in the way of Heero and his mission objectives. Plus at that stage of his life, he didn’t know how to process emotions appropriately and Duo had been confusing and  _ far  _ too different to anyone that Heero had ever met. He had never understood why Duo had tried so hard with him - how he had done so since the very beginning and how he’d seen something in Heero that was apparently worth saving. 

But while Heero wasn’t sure he had loved Duo since then - he was sure that they had been connected since then. That their lives had become connected in a way that had been impossible to break despite attempts from both of them. 

When Heero got out of the shower, Duo was sat on the very large bed with his laptop open, shirtless and there was the smell of delicious food coming from a trolley laden with various dishes, covered with silver cloches. 

“I ordered room service,” Duo said, sensing Heero’s unasked question, “I  _ may  _ have ordered too much but figured we could charge it to Relena. Or Preventer. Whichever.”

Heero towel dried his hair, walking towards the trolley to inspect the choices that Duo had made - it seemed to be the entire room service menu and Heero’s stomach rumbled in response. They had not really eaten properly since breakfast in Heero’s apartment - they had lived on power bars and protein shakes on the flight and Heero grabbed a piece of broccoli not realising that Duo was watching.

“Geez, go for the fries, a little unhealthiness is not gonna kill you, ‘Ro.”

In response, he grabbed a handful of fries, stuffing them in his mouth in a wordless childish retort. Duo laughed and Heero joined him on the bed, sitting next to him to see the laptop screen open on the evaluation report. The evaluation report of Heero’s competence. 

“Did I pass?”

“Hells yeah and not just because you sexed up your evaluator,” Duo replied, bumping his shoulder against Heero’s gently,  “it was a flawless mission and a complete success - full marks from me.”

“Please tell me that you are not mentioning the fact I “sexed” you up.”

“Aww damn, I really wanted to… wondered what colour Une’s face would go. I’m thinking puce.”

“Puce?” 

“Yeah, I think it’s a shade of pinky purple. Maybe ask Relena…”

Heero scanned what Duo had written so far and then got up to put on boxer briefs and a t-shirt, thinking about what Duo had summarised. There was one part that did not seem quite right to him and it was about his leadership capability and his ability to delegate objectives. It was about letting Duo pilot. 

“I didn’t let you pilot just because you are a better pilot. I let you pilot because I know you love it.”

Duo had been staring intently at the screen, a strand of hair being twirled around a finger as he read back what he had written, his mouth moving wordlessly. Yet with that, Duo looked up.

“I can’t really put that, babe - kinda sounds likes you were romancing me or something. It’s not really Prev mission report appropriate.”

“This isn’t about the evaluation,” Heero said abruptly and Duo eyes were on him and Heero felt so damn stupid. As Duo didn’t say anything - left the space for Heero to speak as if he intrinsically knew that Heero needed to say something important even if Heero didn’t know how to articulate it. “You said you loved me.”

“It was…” Duo began.

“No, it wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t something you didn’t mean.”

“So what if I mean it? I’ve meant it for god knows how long but each time I get close you go full robot shut down on me and I have to bail as I can’t…”

Duo got up then, walking over to his duffle bag, finding clothes and Heero could see his opportunity slipping.

“Duo,” Heero said, his voice pleading but just saying his name was not enough and Duo turned, a shirt now covering his chest that said “no llama no drama” which Heero couldn’t comprehend. But why was he focusing on that when he needed to say something? Why did he glare and grunt his way through life?

“I can’t keep giving you everything and then getting nothing back. You give me these glimmers every damn time and then it just… it’s like you just can’t handle the fact that someone  _ loves  _ you. That I give a damn. And I can’t keep doing this, man. I think every time it’s gonna be different then it’s not.”

Duo managed his tirade while putting on skinny jeans, a feat that Heero couldn’t quite grasp and he was then closing his laptop with unnecessary force. 

It was clear Duo was going to leave and Heero remembered a dozen other occasions when Duo had done the same. And how it had hurt. But then he understood from Duo’s perspective - that after a few days Heero went back inside himself as some form of self preservation. That he became stoic and uninterested and difficult as though to stop anything permanent happening. So that things could remain static, that he could remain emotionally incompetent and isolated. It was safer that way. 

But this time he couldn’t watch Duo walk away. Not after what Relena said. Not after what Emilia said about them being “like a married couple.”

“I love you,” Heero said quietly, the words feeling odd on his tongue. He remembered saying he’d kill people but never that he loved someone. 

Duo stopped then, his head cocking as though questioning what he had heard. 

“I love you,” Heero repeated, louder then, more confident of the words and their cadence. “Don’t go.”

There was silence then and Heero couldn’t bare to look anymore. He’d seen Duo’s eyes open wide in surprise at his admission but Duo didn’t reply and Heero mumbled and walked over to his bag to find his clothes. “I’ll go… if you need some time…”

“No,” Duo said and then he laughed gently, walking softly across the carpeted floor to just in front of Heero, “I feel like I’ve waited so damn long for this moment and my brain isn’t able to comprehend you actually said  _ that. _ ”

“That I love you?”

“Yeah,  _ that.  _ Kinda feel like I’m in some kinda Twilight Zone.”

“Relena says I’ve been in love with you since you shot me.”

Duo snorted and reached his hand to touch Heero’s arm. “Well, I did look kinda badass that day. All heroic and shit.”

“And shit?” Heero questioned, an eyebrow quirked. 

“Yeah and shit. My brains catching up so I’m not very articulate and I’m damn tired and I’m hungry and like what does this mean? Does this mean living together and being a proper couple? I’m not marrying your ass - wouldn’t want to hyphenate my name.”

“Duo?”

“Hmm?”

“Shut up.”

“Make me, lover boy.”

And Heero shut Duo up the only way he ever knew how - with his mouth, his tongue, his hands and his body. It felt the same but different - hands grasping tighter, kisses lasting longer and when they came, breathless and spent, Heero didn’t need to say the word “love” again as he didn’t need to. As Duo knew. He knew. 


	9. A Screenshot of Youth

Heero knew it was part of procedure. Yet he still couldn’t understand why he had to see Commander Une herself rather than some random Human Resources person and why this discussion was required face to face when his email had seemed more than adequate. Duo had agreed that the email _should_ have been enough. But then Duo was not one for process and procedure and so his advice could be ignored - he had never been a fan of Preventer’s bureaucracy. Or rules in general.

The email had perhaps been basic and to the point though Heero was sure that Commander Une would appreciate the sentiment being that she received scores of electronic communication via different channels every hour. So his being easy to read and understand surely was better than a long letter detailing his reasonings - but it seemed the email was not enough.

So Heero sat in Commander Une’s office trying not to feel irked as he had been forced to trek into Preventer HQ so that “administrative processes” could be complete. Administrative processes that would ensure that Heero Yuy was no longer a Preventer agent of any type, special or otherwise.

It seemed that history was repeating itself as Heero sat in Une’s office, tapping a rhythm on his knee as he waited for the Commander, his memories of that fateful day when Duo re-entered his life flooding to the surface. It felt like a lifetime ago yet only a handful of heartbeats at the same time - everything now seemed right between them. Not perfect - things were never perfect. They were complicated and they were both irrational and figuring out how to breathe around one another was still a struggle. But they were trying and it was working. It was working.

Heero could hear Commander Une arriving, barking orders at her secretary and the door opened with a resounding bang indicating that today was not going all that well for the Commander. He wondered briefly if it was work or personal - after all, he was aware from Duo that MarieMaia had become a handful but he dared not ask. It didn’t matter if it was work - it was not his job anymore. And he could provide no advice on teenagers when he had spent his teenage years piloting a Gundam.

“Yuy,” she said briskly as she marched to her desk, sitting down and pulling the document close to her. Heero had left his full resignation letter there - waiting for her - along with his Preventer badge and his Preventer issued gun. He hadn’t cared about the gun - he had other’s at home and the Preventer issue weapon was nothing special but the badge he had held in his hand for a few seconds, spinning it around in his fingertips. It was the end of an era leaving Preventer. It meant he was truly no longer a tool for violence, no longer needed to serve and protect, it meant he was just… him.

For the first time in his life, he owed no one anything and it felt strange. Not exactly bad just different.

“I cannot persuade you to stay in an advisory role of some kind,” she said after a few minutes, her eyes having scanned the content of his letter.

“What sort of advisory role?” Heero asked, puzzled as he had already had a very vague role within Preventer as a “special agent”, a role that existed to no one else but him.

“I don’t know,” she said with a sigh, massaging at her temples. It was only 11.28am and she clearly had a headache - Heero felt her day was not going to get better after their little meeting. “I’d just like to keep you as a Preventer.”

Heero was about to open his mouth but Une looked up then, a small smile on her face as she looked at him from over the rim of her glasses. “I understand, Yuy. You deserve peace.”

“Do you accept my resignation?”

“I do. I don’t require notice period and I’ll accept this meeting as part of your exit interview,” Une said and she got to her feet, walking to the other side of her desk so that she could perch on it. She offered Heero her hand and he reached for it, shaking it somewhat awkwardly. It seemed a bizarre practice to Heero yet he understood the meaning as their hands separated, Heero wiping his palm on his jeans. “I think you’ve done enough to help achieve and maintain peace, Heero. Now enjoy your retirement.”

“Thank you,” he replied - and he meant it.

Not for just allowing him to leave Preventer yet also for all that she had done for him - trusting him and being unafraid to go up against the vocal minority who had been prejudiced against a former Gundam pilot joining the agency. He got to his feet then, not intending to look back yet Une spoke, pausing his steps.

“Yuy,” she said, softly, and when he glanced back over his shoulder, her glasses were off and her expression was calm, “may I ask what you intend to do now?”

Heero smirked slightly For the first time in his life there was no plan, no mission and no real answer to that question. There had been fighting and war and keeping peace and now there was nothing. No, it wasn’t nothing. It was just something else. Or everything he’d missed.

“Whatever Duo suggests.”

Une laughed with a knowing smile on her face. “Enjoy.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that, instead, he left walking away from Une’s office and to the elevator without looking back.

The concept of retirement was weird - he was not old enough yet he had lived a dozen lifetimes in his meagre years and he deserved rest if nothing more. Heero was sure he would work again - check whether there were suitable positions among the Peacecraft security detail or even work for Preventer again but right now he was going to do whatever he wanted to do. Or whatever he and Duo could agree to do together. Which was a different thing entirely.

As he left Preventer HQ, he strolled slowly towards the coffee shop where he had left Duo prior to his meeting - the very same coffee shop they had visited after Duo had walked back into his life. He saw him in the window as he approached and Heero slowed his pace even more. As Duo was not alone sat at the table nearest to the glass.

No, he was sat with a little boy making paper airplanes out of the free colouring pages that the coffee shop offered to children and parents in need of two minutes of peace. Heero watched through the window at the way Duo was concentrating, how he was giving instructions to the little boy and then how he was overly excited when the paper airplane flew halfway across the coffee shop. He smiled as he saw Duo high five the boy and it made Heero realise - his life was going to be different now but he wouldn’t trade being with Duo for anything. Not after everything they had been through.

It seemed his observation of the scene was noted as Duo was smiling and beckoning him inside with exaggerated movement and Heero nodded, entering the coffee shop to hear the tingle of bell and smell the rich scent of coffee.

“This is Sam. I’m teaching him the perfect engineering of a paper airplane,” Duo explained as soon as Heero stepped inside, not bothering for breath in between his words. “This is Heero and he is _so_ much more cleverer than I am about this stuff.”

There was a moment of hesitation on Heero’s part then as this boy - Sam - looked up at him expecting some great lesson but then he felt a gentle touch on his arm and he saw the smile on Duo’s face and Heero knew he could do it. He nodded.

“Let me show you how to make a superior paper airplane…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little epilogue to go... Thanks for reading :)


	10. Epilogue - Wouldn't Know Where to Start to Replace This

“Are you sure about this?” Heero asked.

“Very sure,” Emilia replied, “you _have_ to write a vow that says everything you feel.”

Heero looked quizzically at the very serious expression on Emilia’s face as he sat at the miniature table on a small chair surrounded by the remains of a stuffed animal tea party. She had given him a purple fluffy notebook and a glittery pen to write with and Heero frowned at the impracticality of the equipment he had been provided with. A notebook did not _need_ to be fluffy and a pen did not _have_ to have feathers coming out of the end. It seemed superfluous. But he saw that it seemed to make Emilia happy that he was using it and that was all that mattered.

“Write all the things you feel about Duo,” she ordered as she wriggled to get comfier on her chair and took a drink of pretend tea.

Heero could hear the tone in Emilia’s voice and it sounded far too much like Relena’s so he felt it best to follow her instructions. He flicked through the notebook until he reached a blank page and then frowned at the purple page, unable to articulate anything on the page. As his feelings for Duo were complex and jumbled and probably too much for a five year old understand. So instead of writing about how Duo could irritate him, how he could drive him crazy and how he couldn’t comprehend a life without him, Heero wrote something much simpler and passed it over to Emilia.

She nodded, satisfied. “I think we’re ready now. I’ll go tell mummy!”

Without a second thought, Emilia ran out of her bedroom, shouting for her mother and Heero sat awkwardly on his tiny chair waiting for her to return. When the door opened again, it wasn’t Emilia that appeared but Relena who was grinning broadly and seeming to be laughing under her breath.

“I wish I could take a picture of you _right_ now,” she said as she leaned against the door, looking at the way Heero was sat in her daughter’s bedroom.

Heero got to his feet and shot a mock death glare. “I’d kill you if you did.”

Relena laughed. “I feel like that is an empty threat, Heero Yuy. As usual.”

“Perhap,” he replied with a shrug and a smile.

“She wants you here… she is just, uh… _preparing_ Duo.”

Relena pointed to near the window and Heero noted that lines of plush toys had been set up by Emilia as though imitating rows of chairs and he considered what “preparing” Duo meant. He had a feeling that Duo was not going to be happy with whatever Emilia’s preparations were but he was also sure that he would do anything for her.

“I’m a sucker,” Duo had said once and as Duo stepped through the door, he proved her would do anything for Emilia. Even wear a pink tutu and fairy wings over his black skinny jeans and his grey faded band t-shirt.

“Don’t,” Duo mouthed and Heero only smirked in response as Relena held a hand over her mouth to stop her from laughing out loud.

As while to all three of the adults in the room, the whole occasion was ridiculous, to a five year old this was very important. Emilia followed Duo twirling a fairy wand and once he got to the end of the “aisle” next to Heero, she stepped ahead of them both, the fluffy notebook in her hand.

“We are here today for the marriage of Heero and Duo,” she began seriously and she flicked through the notebook, “they have written their own vows.”

She handed the notebook abruptly to Heero, open on his “vow” and he looked over at Duo who was finding it very difficult to keep a straight face.

“My vow is that I love you,” Heero said, unable to get rid of the smirk on his face “even when you are wearing a tutu and fairy wings.”

“Least I said no to makeup-”

“Uh-huh,” Emilia said, annoyed by their conversation, taking back the notebook and passing it to Duo, who feigned looking for his page.

“I guess mine is that I love you, too. And don’t mock the wings, dude. They mean I have magical powers, right?” he asked with a wink towards Emilia.

Emilia ignored the question and reached for her fairy wand, whirling it around in front of them. “You are now married!”

Heero did not know much about weddings being that he had only attended the one but he was sure it did not happen the way Emilia had planned it. Especially when Relena threw glitter over them as part of the celebration.

“Why _glitter_?” Duo whined as he tried to shake it out of his hair.

“Emilia said it was part of my role,” Relena replied with a grin that made her appear younger, more carefree than Heero had seen her. “And the other part was to supply the celebratory ice cream.”

The glitter may have annoyed Duo but the ice cream did not and they sat around the large table in the formal dining room, various toppings and sauces spread out along with tubs of different flavours. Duo and Emilia sat closely together, discussing fairies and magic and flying, and Relena sat next to Heero, smiling.

“You really didn’t have to do this for her,” Relena said as she ate a large spoonful of strawberry flavoured ice cream, watching how Duo was now drawing something in Emilia’s notebook to illustrate the idea they were discussing.

Heero shrugged. “I think Duo suffered more than I did.”

Relena laughed and leaned her head on Heero’s shoulder gently. “There will be a job opening available for both of you whenever you’re ready… She adores you both.”

“Soon,” Heero replied, his voice low, “but first we have to go on Honeymoon.”

Duo looked up then and winked before he returned his attention to Emilia and their drawing.

And in that wink, that look, that smile, and in the willingness to wear a tutu and fairy wings to make Emilia happy, Heero knew that Duo didn’t just go straight to his head. He was in his heart, his bones and Heero didn't care what the future held for him as long as that future included Duo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading - I've really appreciated all the comments that people have left throughout. I wanted to write something I enjoyed that maybe was a bit a cheesy and not too plotty and this was exactly what I needed - a little reminder that I love to write! So a big thank you for those of you who came along for the ride with me - it's been fun!


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